The inner critic actually has a positive intention, despite all the negative chatter it can create. Learning to listen to our inner voice more rationally and with curiosity (instead of allowing it to hold us back) can make a huge difference, both in our personal and professional lives.
From my own personal experience, it was transformative.
I was 32, it was 1991 and there I was, chilling with a book when the call came in. ‘You’ve got the job’.
I was fresh from an 8-year stint working for international organisations in Paris and going for my first corporate role.
Whilst I wasn’t expecting to get the job, my first reaction on hearing I had, was pure joy. I’d had an unconventional career, preferring to move to Paris and look for a job straight after graduation, rather than going on the ‘milk round’, because I wanted to use the languages I’d spent four years perfecting at Bath University immediately, not wait several years for an overseas posting. That’s how it was back then.
In Paris, I’d worked for the United Nations University and the International Chamber of Commerce – very influential intergovernmental organisations.
The job on offer was with Danish Facilities Management group ISS A/S; the role: Customer Care Manager for Europe and Brazil.
And it came with a seat on the Executive Committee.
With no corporate experience let alone formal customer-care background, I could easily have convinced myself not to apply for it; let alone accept the offer. But accept, I did.
Because instead of letting the inner critic’s chatter: "What are you thinking? You’re far too young to sit on an ExCo... you'll embarrass yourself!" drag me down, I allowed it to focus me on what I needed to do to set myself up for success.
In the weeks before starting my new role, I researched ISS from top to bottom, took a quick strategic marketing course, learned financial basics, and sought advice from experienced mentors. I was honest about my strengths and weaknesses with my future boss, and reassured when he said, to compensate for the fact I knew nothing about contract cleaning (the company’s core business back then), I’d be spending the first month with the group’s most profitable opco, cleaning abattoirs, airports, offices, and thermal spas – literally learning on the job.
Accepting the ISS job was a major turning point for me. I learnt so much so quickly, and it accelerated my career and personal life in ways I could never have imagined.
All those things I’d researched were genuinely useful, but in the end, it was a positive mindset and willingness to learn that got me through.
The wisdom of the inner coach
The point here is that the inner critic is actually our inner wisdom that's gone into overdrive.
It does this because it’s trying to keep us comfortable and safe. But, unless we keep it in check, it can become overwhelming, holding us back from taking risks that are good for our growth.
Seeing it this way not only allows us to understand and appreciate the inner critic’s protective intent, it also allows us to filter out it’s negative chatter and zoom in on the useful things it has to say. When you hear those things, you're hearing the voice of your inner coach: the one that encourages, motivates, and helps you focus on things you can do and develop, not things that keep you stuck.
Listening to our inner coach is a habit that can help us make better decisions, be more resilient, happy, and successful. By dialling down the voice of the inner critic and dialling up the voice of the inner coach, we can become more of who we can be, and make our mark more powerfully.
So next time your negative chatter gets loud for example before, during or after an important meeting or presentation, try to listen to it with curiosity.
What is it telling you that’s worth listening to? Maybe it’s nudging you to tackle a deep-rooted fear of failure? Or to improve your relationship with deadlines? Or with hierarchy? Maybe it’s encouraging you to get some feedback that will counter your perception that you’re a ‘terrible communicator’.
Listening to your inner coach instead of your inner critic can totally transform things, as I’ve illustrated using my own career jump as an example.
What’s your inner critic saying to you that might be useful to listen to?
The Business Voice Coach
Further Reading: Take a first step to tackling your inner critic
Mindset is just one of many topics explored in my flagship programme Make Your Mark with Susan Room®. A transformative four-step framework specifically designed to help business people develop the four pillars of effective communication. Learn More
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